So here they are, in no particular order, my confessions:
1. I don't always feel like working out. (But right now, thankfully, I'm on a positive roll) When I'm unmotivated, I don't get down on myself: I investigate the potential causes. Too many obligations, not enough rest, boredom or lack of focus in my training program...I reflect on what's going on, find the cause, and get back after it as soon as I can. Sometimes, I just need a break.
2. I don't always eat clean. I try pretty hard most of the time, but there are phases in which I fall off the wagon, gain midsection inches, realize the error of my ways, and climb back on. That describes my May/June experience this year pretty well! I probably follow the 80/20 rule on most days: 80% clean and healthy to 20% not-so-clean or healthy.
3. I get hurt, too. I just don't tend to publicize my ailments unless they're pretty serious, like this spring when I had to invest some serious time into rehabbing my shoulder. Most of the time when I do get hurt, it's because I allowed my ego to drive my workout, not my common sense. Word to the wise: when you let the ego take the helm in any aspect of your life, a train wreck awaits.
4. I have cellulite--you know, the back of the thighs kind. It sucks. It's pretty much genetic for me, and I have to be ridiculously lean to make it mostly disappear. I don't think I've ever been completely cellulite-free, though. *sigh* Which is why I play to my strengths (mostly belly button and above) and always wear pants, unless I'm running!
5. And building on #4....I don't always have a six-pack (whew--got that off my chest!! LOL). Well, the muscle might be there, but it hides under belly squish sometimes, too! Making it 'pop' is a combination of thoughtful and on-target nutrition, adequate cardio, and consistent strength training. When one of those things gets out of sync (which often happens in real life), the so-called six pack hides. I do like it when it shows, though :)
6. I am still self-conscious in a bathing suit. Really, I hate them. Not sure I'll ever get over this aversion, but I try not to let it stop me from doing things like going to the pool or beach (when I actually get near one!).
7. I worry about not being good enough. I think I have a tiny case of body dysmorphia--not seeing my body in a realistic light. So I try harder to put my efforts into being able to do more, not look better. If I went back down the training-to-look-a-certain-way path again, I think it would be bad for my mental health. So bring on the pull ups, deadlifts, 10k runs, Tough Mudders, etc, etc.!
8. I have a really hard time balancing my fitness and work life with my family life. Or at least being satisfied with what balance is struck--it always feels like I'm not quite hitting the mark.
9. I haven't always looked, felt, or thought like I do now. Really, not even close. I need to dig up the pictures of my childhood through now and share them! The whole re-discovering myself and physical potential after 30 has been a surprising and extremely pleasant journey.
And the point of me confessing these things? So that maybe one other person out there who happens to read this might get something out of it. To emphasize that we are all just human, but no matter our age, personal history, or insecurities, we are also capable of extraordinary things when we commit our whole selves to the pursuit of greatness.
Kate, one of the reasons I enjoyed working out with you is that you never claimed to be perfect, or demanded that anybody else should be perfect. We all have our challenges and our triumphs. The more we share both of those, the better this life journey is going to be. It's great that you are sharing the things that challenge you. I relate to it, and it also inspires me to keep working towards the next triumph. Godspeed in your journey. It's a real pleasure to cheer you on.
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